This post started off as a tweet thread(follow me on Twitter o!) and when I was going through my drafts to pick a topic for #QuirkyFridays , I felt the strong urge to flesh out the tweets so here I am doing it. I beg of you to be open as you read this post, don’t close your mind off, write down your arguments. questions and most importantly read to the end before commenting so you get the full gist and we can then interact better in the comment section. Thank you very much.
I get a weird feeling when I see these “God opened my womb after 1-25 years of marriage/waiting” testimonies. We are privileged to be alive in the 21st century where there are various options of having a child; IVF, surrogacy, adoption etc.
Now don’t run away, I’m not a heathen who is disputing the miracle power of God and His ability to give children, I just think that we(Nigerians) sometimes tend to idolise “suffering”.
I know it may be hard to accept but there are times God is not using your trials, years of heartbreak, pain and tears to make your testimony “greater”. He is whispering to you “my child go for that IVF procedure, seek surrogates, adopt that baby” yet we will keep shouting, groaning and crying in prayers.
I believe that there is no reason for some women to go through the pains of waiting as a lot of options have become available for them to utilise. I say women here because unfortunately it is women who tend to bear the brunt of “childlessness” in our society (Nigerian) so I crave your indulgence as I address only women in this post.
So when I posted my tweets, a dude responded by saying the that there was no better joy than having your own baby, my response was that I understand that there is a type of joy/love you feel when you hear the word mummy but it shouldn’t matter how the child came into your life but how you love them.
I have been blessed with 5 godchildren and I cannot explain the love I feel for them whenever I’m around them, I mentioned to my friend a while ago that I now understand when someone says “you’re so cute I want to eat you up” don’t be scared I’m not a cannibal, there’s a scientific reason behind this and buzz feed explains it here.
I love them so much that it hurts and they’re not legally mine, imagine what I would feel for my own children!
See ehn, a child is a child, the fact that he/she comes from your vagina or another woman’s does not negate the fact that he/she is a living, breathing, adorable little munchkin, all that matters is that they are LEGALLY yours. We tend to embrace many things from the western world; from engagement photo shoots to white weddings but forget all those acquired views and remember we are Africans with a culture and heritage when we talk about alternative methods to having children.
I know some people will argue that I do not know what it feels like trying to conceive but I can tell you I know what the pressure of waiting, fasting and praying can do to one’s mental health, I understand how traumatic it is to see that blood from the miscarriage or the disappointment that comes with each menstrual cycle.
I’m not saying don’t wait on God for a miracle, He is a great God who can use any situation to the glory of His name but sometimes He shows you simple things to do, don’t ignore and say it’s the voice of the enemy trying to sway your faith/confidence. Pray, believe God for a miracle but most importantly be open to receive and act on what He reveals to you. Remember, He works in ways unimaginable so be sensitive!
On a lighter note: If you’re looking for an incentive to do this remember Superman was adopted too😉
Hey quirkies!! Welcome to #QuirkyFridays I apologise for the mini hiatus, I’ve not been in a great place and didn’t want to post anything just because, you know I wasn’t feeling quirky!
Great news!!! I started writing for SingleInGidi check out the website and see what I’ve been up to, shower the page with some quirky love.
That’s it, have a wonderful weekend and always remember your smile is the best thing about someone’s day.
Talks to y’all later xxx