After 30 years of trying, hustling, not praying for a husband, I have given up!!
I have now come to you my public friends, acquaintances and enemies with the bid to seek your help in securing me a husband. I have learnt that one should not marry for love or any of those pesky soapy lovey dovey feelings powered by Hollywood, Bollywood our beloved Nollywood.
So I have a list I have created that will make an ideal husband for me, I believe your input and ultimately securing me a boo will help end the barrage of “When will we eat your rice” questions, stop me from wondering if I am the reason bag of rice is now twenty-two tasand naira and in turn erase all those non-Jesus like response I am always tempted to reply with.
Ngwanu let us go to the list:
- He must have an expert level proficiency in writing and speaking English (this one is non-negotiable abeg and don’t bring the English is not our language near me, is it your English-speaking husband?) Please he needs to know the difference between “am” and “I’m”.
- He must have a great hygiene routine; baff 2 times a day, brush mouth, not wear boxers more than once, have a close relationship with deodorant and not be too proud to heed to the “babes, I think you should shower before bed” once in a while loving request.
- He should not be afraid to be vulnerable; who macho, unfeeling man epp sef? Heck watch a video of cute kitten or puppy and have your cheeks hurt from the cheesy smile the video elicits. A man who shows his feelings is sexy AF!!
- He must have smoh money because I have realised that money is one of the things that causes palaver inside marriage. Not the tati billion for akant o (I won’t mind sha) but at least enough for both our incomes to make a nice weapon to wage war against the bills of married life!
- He must be open and not be “tighting” the world to his chest. Why is someone being rigid inside this 21st century. Just unacceptable!!!
- He should be tall smoh because we cannot have girls reject our boys because of height, we cannot do that to our children before they are born, babes please don’t be short, at least be taller than my 169cm.
- My Christian brothers and sisters will say I have omitted that he should be a born again Christian, ngwanu this is more than important; his love of God! His love for God should ignite his life, it should be evident in his dealings with people, he should love God and not be a religious person.
- Any other thing you think a man worthy of Timiebi should possess!
In conclusion, when next you feel like asking me when you will eat my rice/cake or whatever meal you think people owe on their wedding day, pause and ponder on what you have done to foster the #FindTimiebiAHusband cause.
Operation #FindTimiebiAHusband will be activated in 3…2…1…0….
Hi Quirkies, there is no need to address my hiatus, I have not been in the blogging mode for a long time and all I can say is hallelujah for this impromptu Facebook motivated post. The above is a post I made on my Facebook profile, I thought to share it on the blog and here we are!!!
I am not making any promises but I am trying to be a better blogger and not neglect my beautiful quirkies for a long period of time. Tomorrow i promise to put up my low-budget part jollof rice.
Always remember that your smile is the best thing about someone’s day so don’t hoard it!
Talk to y’all later xxx